Hero
by Rayeth
Summary: It was a normal day in Saiyuki-land, until a very self-righteous social worker comes to remove an "abused" Gokuu from Sanzou's care. No, Gokuu isn't abused, she just thinks he is. This is my first humor story so please read. It might not exactly be funny


Disclaimer: Do you think I have the brains to come up with them *points to Sanzou-ikkou*?!! I can't even write a good fic.*sniffle*.. All praise goes to Minekura-sensei. Note: The truth is, I can't write humor. There, I confessed! I write drama, and angst, and all that other sad, depressing stuff. *Not* funny stuff. However, I had this idea and I couldn't help but write it. I actually spent a month debating on whether to write it or not. I finally decided to write it. So, without further ado, I present you with my first ever intentionally written humorous fic!!!  
  
It was one of those days. The very rainy, stormy kind. It was, in fact, around noon. However, at that moment, it was less than believable. Actually, people situated near the window, or those who bothered to look, would've just laughed at you had you decided to inform them of the time. No one sane was outside during a storm like this, well, none except for unfortunate travelers who couldn't help being out.  
  
A particular group of travelers were out at this time. This group, often under the scrutiny of many others, was driving their way to the nearest inn. They sported an assortment of bruises and cuts, relics of the last group, or horde rather, of youkai. Said group of travelers consisted of a blond priest who went by the name/title of Genjou Sanzou, a red-head(no, not orange, actual red) named Gojou, a monocle-wearing, ever-smiling man named Hakkai, and, of course, Gokuu(description not needed, every innkeeper knew about his legendary appetite).  
  
Sanzou was effectively drenched. It hadn't improved his mood any. Neither had that run in with the youkai. He had a few splashes of blood here and there; no cuts or bruises, owed to his long ranged weapon. It could be noted, however, that he had managed to focus solely on brooding even when a tree (which was recently hit by lightning) crashed next to his side of the jeep, he didn't even flinch. Although, Gokuu had given a momentary scream of terror and even Hakkai's smile had faltered. Gojou's hair had covered his face..  
  
A mass of wine red hair seemed to heave a sigh. The end of an unlighted cigarette protruded out from the hair. Gojou was wet. Thoroughly wet. He sighed as he tried to light his cigarette for the umpteenth time. His wet hair clung to him, making him unidentifiable, as a human or youkai. Pity Hakuryuu didn't have a roof.. He idly wondered if you could teach a dragon how to make a roof while trying to light his cigarette yet again.  
  
Hakkai smiled. He was sure they were near a town. He couldn't actually *see* anything but by now he had a sixth sense about these things. Rain plastered his hair to his face. A wayward fringe of hair covered his eyes. Still, he smiled as he petted the dragon-turned-jeep. They should be there soon..  
  
Gokuu looked the worse of the group. He was covered with blood. It wasn't exactly *his* blood but the blood of whoever had been the receiving end of his blows. Sadly, nyoibou wasn't a long-ranged weapon..  
  
The doors of the inn swung open, attracting the attention of everyone. Lightning flashed dramatically behind four figures, silhouetting them for a split second. The Sanzou-ikkou walked in, ignoring the stares people were giving them. It really was amazing how Sanzou managed to walk with all dignity of a sanzou while being weighed down by *very* wet, and therefore, *very* heavy robes. Gojou followed behind Sanzou, wringing water out of his hair, leaving pools of water while he walked. Gokuu looked half- asleep. He barely looked alive due to hunger, although the people of the inn just attributed it to the blood loss. Hakkai followed up the rear, his clothes drying by the brightness of his smile. One look at the group, and the innkeeper wrote them down for the last two rooms in the inn. Soon, the sanzou-ikkou were seated around a table for four in a dim corner. "Na, Sanzou, I'm hungry!!" Gokuu complained as his menu was pulled away from him. "I'm about to faint from hunger!!"  
  
"You ate more than enough."  
  
"But I'm hungry!!" Gokuu protested. A muscle under Sanzou's eye twitched. He wasn't a very patient man, in fact, he was quite volatile. Even so, normally he had much more patience when it concerned the "two morons" as he had dubbed them--he waited at least seven minutes before taking out his infamous harisen--today however, his anger and a good deal of patience had been tried. The weather didn't help matters any. With a swift motion, honed to perfection by countless practice, he brought the fan down on Gokuu's head with a resounding whap. That being done, he tucked his fan to who-knows-where, looking much less stressed. Gokuu held his head in pain. He knew better than to further anger an irate Sanzou. He silently waited for his food.  
  
Unbeknownst to most of the people in the room, a young woman watched the Sanzou-ikkou from a corner. She particularly focused on one blood soaked, starving boy getting hit repeatedly by a fan. Her bright scarlet lips frowned as she took another sip of her tea. This did not look good. She was a young lady in her late twenties with mahogany hair tied in a very severe professional bun at the top of her head. Horn-rimmed glasses gleamed in the dim lighting as she confidently strode her way to the bickering group. Her lime green skirt swished with her strides, each flash of green leaving the occupants of the room temporarily blind. Huge purple heels clicked as she walked, announcing her presence to the entire group. She clutched her hand bag tightly while impatiently tapping Sanzou on his shoulder. This earned her a heated glare but she ignored it like the professional she was.  
  
"Excuse me sir, but are you the guardian of this boy?" She didn't pause for a response as she quickly flashed some official looking papers. "I am a social worker and after what I've seen, I must remove him from your care. This poor child! Have you been abusing him?!! What is your name, child?" She smiled tenderly at Gokuu, poising a pen over a document. "How old are you? Has he hurt you before?" Her heart filled with sympathy for the young boy. How could anyone treat a mere child that way?!  
  
".eh?" Gokuu stared at her blankly. Gojou looked as if he'd start laughing at any moment, although it can't be said whether he was more amused by the situation or the lady's outfit.  
  
"Don't be afraid you poor dear," she reassured Gokuu. "I want you to tell me everything! How could I let a poor child like you get hurt! This is child abuse!! That horrid, horrid man!" Her nostrils flared with that thought. "So you are twelve, yes? Good, good. Let's see.."  
  
"Wait!! I'm not twelve, I'm.."  
  
"Don't worry dear, he won't hurt you. You don't have to lie."  
  
"But I'm not lying!! I really am.."  
  
"Now, now, dear. Lying is bad."  
  
"I'm not lying, Miss!!!"  
  
"Hmph!! That man didn't teach you any manners! Don't worry dear, it's not your fault." "Bu.but.," Gokuu was at loss of words which was quite rare. He surreptitiously glanced at Sanzou. The man was visibly fuming. He had never seen Sanzou *this* close to bursting a vein. He had also noticed Sanzou kept fingering his gun. Gokuu gulped, he had a feeling *he* was going to be the one in trouble.  
  
"Excuse me," Hakkai asked the lady. "Gokuu is an eighteen year old teenager who got into a fight, not an abused child. If you don't mind.."  
  
"Nonsense!!!" She quickly signed some papers. "You, I believe, are the guardian of Son Gokuu," she addressed Sanzou. "Take these papers, I'll see you tomorrow. Date and time is on the paper, thank you. And you poor dear, just hold on one more day. You'll never have to see that evil man again!"  
  
"But I dun wanna leave Sanzou," Gokuu protested. However, it was no use as the lady just gave him a sad look and told him not to lie yet again. Sanzou waited until she was out of the room before taking out his fan and whacking his living stress ball. Poor Gokuu..  
  
Note: Yes, yes, I know. It's badly done. I can't write humor but I had this idea and.. I hope it isn't too bad. I know the story doesn't flow too well and it's kind of choppy but I tried. If you have any suggestions or comments, please review. On second thought, review even if u have no comments. Leave a smiley even. I just need to know someone's reading this. _.extremely insecure about writing humor.. ^^;;;; 


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